Can't fight biology
by amaraEdwards16
Summary: this is my version of how i believe Meredith and Derek should go on about trying to get pregnant. wish me luck
1. Meredith's thoughts

**Chapter 1: Meredith's thoughts**

Maybe Derek's right, maybe we should just live our lives and let whatever has to happen, happen. I never thought I would ever want something so bad. I actually never liked a lot of things till Derek came along. I never thought I would want kids, I never thought I would get married, and I never thought that once I did want these things life would get in the way and try to screw it all up.

I can vision our lives together in five years. We have two children; one daughter and one son. The girl has Derek's ocean blue eyes and my strawberry blonde hair. She has my nose and lips and ears but Derek's smile. She has my laugh. And our son has my emerald green eyes and Derek dark curls. He has my nose but Derek's lips ears and smile. But my same adorable laugh.

I really want this and I know Derek wants this. Maybe if we are patient god will please us. But then again there are other ways to have a baby. But even though I have seen people go through the pains of labor, I kind of want to experience it. I mean once the house in the woods is finally done maybe we could have a baby. Maybe are timing is of and some spirit is trying to tell us that we should wait a little longer.

Now I feel terrible, some people who don't even want babies have babies. I used to be one of those people. But now I actually want one but biology isn't on my side. I know I have to think positive. Or maybe Derek and I shouldn't just have sex like that. Maybe it should be a spur of the moment kind of thing not 'I'll meet you in the on call room in 5' maybe that's why we aren't getting pregnant. Because people usually get pregnant when they are making love and not just having meaning less sex to get through the day.

I think I should try being bright and shinny for a while instead of dark and twisty. I don't know.

But what if I get Alzheimer's instead of getting pregnant? That would be terrible. Derek life would be totally messed up. Or worse I get pregnant and pass it on to the baby. Oh no I'm being a pessimist again. Maybe I should just calm down and think of something else.


	2. Derek's Thoughts

**Chapter 2: Derek's thoughts**

Maybe Meredith's right; maybe we should just know at least some things before we just keep trying. I mean she makes a pretty good point that she could pass it on to the baby. I just don't want her to feel to bad if she can't give me what I really want. Because to be honest Meredith is all I really want. I want a family with her, but if she can't then we can always adopt a baby. I mean just because he or she didn't physically come from us doesn't mean we can't love them as much as we would if they did.

I hope that we can actually have a baby. I really want this I can see it now. We have two gorgeous daughters and one handsome son. The girls both look just like Meredith except they have my eyes. They have Meredith's laugh, smile, that adorable rambling thing, ears, nose, lips and her hair. Then the boy looks exactly like me except he has Meredith's nose, and laughter. He got my Mcdreamy smile. And we all live happily in our house in the woods. I would take my son out fishing, we would go see racecars, and we would play baseball. We would do everything together. And Meredith would take the girls out and do girl stuff. It would be amazing.

Its just not fair. Meredith and I have come a long way to get to this point in our relationship. It took forever for us to be honest with each other, let each other in and truly commit to this relationship. Now we are ready and biology just wants to slow down on us. I know Meredith and I can and will have a baby. We just have to be optimistic and believe.

Maybe we should talk about this more often. Let things out, put our fears on the table and go through this together. I have no idea how dark and twisty Meredith is. Maybe that miscarriage and me almost dying really traumatized her.


	3. the conversation

**Chapter 3: the conversation**

"Hey Meredith," said Derek as he rolled over in bed and wrapped his arm around her.

"Mmmm?" said Meredith barely opening her eyes.

"I just wanted to talk. You know about the hostile uterus and you wanting to check if you have Alzheimer's."

"What about it?"

"Well I just wanted to say maybe we should let some feelings we have out you know unwind our dark and twistiness."

"Twistiness? Is that even a word?"

"No, at least I don't think so, but that's not the point."

"Okay. You go first."

"Well I was thinking what if we beat the odds and have a baby? What if you don't Alzheimer's? What if our doctor was wrong about the hostile uterus thing? I mean all this stuff is all based on theory. She could be wrong."

"Yea but she has scientific proof and she said that the chances of me getting pregnant were…"

"Screw the chances Meredith. Remember when you drowned, the chances of you surviving was extremely low. Yet here you are better than ever lying in bed with me. Remember all the make ups and break ups. Not a lot of people said we would last, yet here we are married and lying in bed with me. The bomb in a body cavity, you survived that. You beat the odds. I beat the odds. I was shot and I'm alive. People beat the odds all the time. Now I want you to believe with me and beat the odds together."

"You really think we can beat the odds"

"Do you want to have a baby?"

"Before you no. but after you I really want one. And now that I know its going to be hard to get one. I really want one."

"Well then you have to believe that you will get one and you can't be pessimistic. You have to believe that this is out of your control. If you believe that it is inside your control you will never get it."

"Derek… I wanted to say this just to make sure you know I don't know if…"

"You don't know what?"

"Well the day you got shot and I was pregnant and then I had a miscarriage. I feel like I did something or you know I don't feel the same way I did before the shooting. I'm not sure anyone does. But after the shooting I realized how much I love you, how much I want to be with you and how much I want to have kids with you. I think I had a miscarriage to show me how much I need you. So I know that we can have a baby and I know we can beat the odds."


End file.
